So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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