their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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