Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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