just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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