Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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