Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
