Is it normal to miss your booty call?
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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