Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
