K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
