You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
