Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Randomize
