i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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