how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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