I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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