Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
