I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
