He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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