i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
