I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
