Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
