Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I supernannyed him into submission
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
