at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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