I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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