Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Randomize
