Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Don't EVER smell your tampon
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
