I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i came on her dog
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Randomize
