Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
