You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
