He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
