The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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