i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
