everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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