she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
