Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
