is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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