Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
