Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
The adults are the big ones right?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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