I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
