bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
