Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
