I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
