sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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