I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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