So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
