he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
i out mim tonsoeep
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
