i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Life without a bra equals bliss.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
