it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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