Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
