We're facebook friends in real life
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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