You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
