I swear she didn't look like that last week.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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