Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Randomize
