its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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